check it out our google latitudes are spooning
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
