Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
