I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
