I've blown a few things in my day
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
