All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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