my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
