help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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