I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
smell my finger.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
just found out that she named her cat after me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
