Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
