i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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