just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
