Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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