I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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