Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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