Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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