He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
