You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
