We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Congratulations! We have a period
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