Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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