she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
