Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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