why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How does one acquire holy water?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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