cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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