loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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