so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
