bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
