4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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