That's intense
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
