my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
