You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
