it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
