I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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