Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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