i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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