I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
