everyone is single if you try hard enough
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
