So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
