so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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