Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
do herpes really smell.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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