put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
