well you can't waste a boner
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
