i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
