there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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