After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
