So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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