She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
