So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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