i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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