i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
