im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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