Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
