do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
