whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
