Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
