just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize