East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize