Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
