How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
