her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
