Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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