i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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