I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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