First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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