i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
