So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
